29th June 2009

Stayed home today cause the air con people are coming to do some servicing, was bored the whole day, had instant mee as my brunch, actually mama asked if I want char kway teow, but i told her it's too oily, think I might be getting healthier, even mug root beer taste like sugar syrup now, humph, had a sip and gave my sis the rest. My sis went for her haircut with Joys today, she bought pizza kun and otah pastry from bugis, both aren't very nice, was a little disappointed. Arranged to meet Liz, Slash and Ray for mala on thursday, too bad pudding can't come, he has class on that day, a bit wasted, actually he was saying maybe we can go on sunday, but a bit hard la, somemore the promo is only from mon to fri. Told daddy i am going out on sunday, and yes he grumble, but don't care la, think I might have to let him get used to me going out often. Ok... Pictures times...

Brunch: Instant mala maggie mee with prawns, ham and crabstick, I feel so greedy put so much ingredients, but I can't help it neh..

Otah Pastry from otah inc: the pastry is very oily and tasteless, and the otah is horrible.

Pizza Kun, wanted to try this for very long le, find the box cute, so took a picture of it.

Prawn Wasabi Pizza: I simply can't taste any wasabi, and the rice patty was too hard, and the pizza was actually cold, a huge disappointment. But come to think about it, maybe we should eat there instead of buying back, guess I might give it another chance.

28th June 2009

Stayed home in the morning and afternoon today, but went out for a while to meet pudding. Spent some quality 2 hours together. Came home at around 5, help mama out with preparing for ingredients cause daddy is cooking today again, he is cooking fried rice, hahaha. So happy, but he put too much pepper, spicy neh. Humph.. Today i also finally opened up the coin pouch as well as the bag that I wanted to use as a pencil case.. So happy... Here are the photos...

My cute moo moo coin pouch... Hopefully I can fill it up with a lot a lot of $1 coins...

My new extremely girly pencil case. Haha... its pink, but I doubt u can see it from this picture, lights too dimmed..

27th June 2009

Didn't do much today, was at home the whole day, reading manga, playing online games, so boring, humph, but daddy cooked dinner today. It seems like its some deity's birthday today, cause daddy and momma went to the market early in the morning to buy roast duck and roast pork for praying, and daddy bought my favourite 'lor mee' from bukit merah too. Too bad, my appetite was smaller, so I can't really finish it. Watch the golden melody awards with my family at night, the stupid show dragged and dragged and dragged, and Chen Shan Ni won the Best female Singer award, my reaction was WTH, shouldn't it be Fish Leong, Tanya or A-lin? What's with the newbie? Jay Chou won the male singer award, while Eason won the best album award, was really pleased that Eason won. Recently, I am feeling extremely unsure about what is going on, and I kept doubting my decisions. Think I need some time to really sit down and think about it. Ok, Time for pictures of food for dinner.

Simple Dish of Fried Egg with Ham, but we all loved it.

卤鸭翅, braised duck? hmmm... dunno wat is it called in english, its a bit salty but still yummy..

Joyce's favourite, spinach with surami abalone. Muahaha... I loved spinach too, but the spinach that I loved is another type..

Steamed Pomfret with perserved olive, didn't like the olive, but the pomfret is very fresh *grin.. too bad the olive sort of spoilt the taste, I didn't like fish, so I didn't really eat a lot.

Roast duck and pork, the roast pork was really fattening so didn't eat lot, ate a lot of duck breast thou... Yummy.

Found this blur picture in one of my folders just now, think I took this last saturday on our way home from jeremy's and audrey's bday party. Daddy and momma holding hands, very sweet rite.. Wonder will I and my future husband be so sweet too...

24th and 25th June 2009

Suppose to meet the girls for gigi's birthday celebration on the 24th, but something happen, so in the end it was cancel. Feeling bad because I think I am the main reason, haiz, I have to try to reschedule the date for her celebration... Since the celebration was cancel, I met up with Slash for dinner, we went aston, chat a bit here and there, waited for damn long for the food to come, but the waitor has already warned us before hand that we have to wait for at least 1/2 hour for the food. I tried the new apple juice thingy that I wanted to try before that, and it turn out quite nice. Didn't manage to finish my ribeye extra cut, think my appetite is really getting smaller, wonder y, but it might be a good thing.

Prime Ribeye Extra Cut with Garden veggie and Potato salad, I order a medium rare steak, but it came to be medium, it still taste great, but a little tough. Love the potato salad. Too bad, I can't finish it..

Pink Lady, its made using pink lady apples, it a little sour, but it still taste great.

My lovely royal gala, this is the types of apples that I usually will ask my mum to get from the supermarket, it sweet but with a hint of sourness. Love this alot.

Didn't do much on the 25th, went to try Janbo which is a newly opened shop at Queenstown MRT with my sis, we ordered a chicken and the fish set, and we shared. It cost $5.90 each but it comes with steamed egg and a drink, so I think it was pretty worth it. Went out at night with a friend. Spent some quality time together.

Steamed Egg.

Fried Pork Rib, I forgot is this $3 or $4, I still think Its a bit on the ex side even thou its all meat and there are no bones.

Fish Set, the fish was alright, but it's a bit fishy even with the sauce. My sis loved it, but being a person who doesn't reallt like fish, the fishy smell is a little too much for me to handle.

Chicken Set, the chicken was a little too oily for me, think it might be because I have been pretty much avoiding oily food nowadays, so everything seems oily to me... Muahaha, the chicken was tender and juicy...

Shopping in Hong Kong...

Didn't buy much there, the fashion was abit out for me, it just look weird, even though a lot of people say the espirit, giordano and bossini there was really good, I didn't buy much thou. The following are the things that I have bought during the few days that I was in Hong Kong... Didn't include the edible stuff that I brought back to singapore thou...

First Day, didn't buy much, went to grand century plaza, its full of baby and kids stuff, so all I bought was food from 7-11 opposite the hotel...

Bought a few packs of this rockmelon chewing gum, its yummy, but too bad I can't bring it back..

Loot from Day 2: edc shirts for myself, bras, adidas t-shirt for him, mobile phone chains, lockets, watches, and a small bag which I think most prob I will be using it as my pencil case.

Loot from Day 3: bags, shawl, coin purse, masks, necklaces, nailpolish & etc

Loot from Day 4: Can you see all the stitch stuff, bought these at the disney shop located at the Airport. So happy...

Belated Post on Food in Hongkong For Slash...

Here are some of the food that I had when I was in Hong Kong, didn't take a lot of pictures thou, coz usually the uncles and aunts are already very hungry. So basically these are just some examples, if you wanna know more, you can ask me personally... *wink..

Food on Cathay pacific to Hong Kong: Its simply tasteless, should have chose the chicken instead...

Chicken Set, looks more yummy hor...

Goodies bought on our 1st trip to 7-11

Curry Fishball... Yummy...

Beef noodle (牛腩面). The soup is nice, but think there are a lot of msg in it, coz after eating this, I get really thirsty.

Wanton Noodle, doubt u can see the wanton, its underneath the noodles, the wanton are really nice and smooth.

KFC grill chicken burger, my sis have this, but she finish half of the burger before I came back with my wanton noodle, so didn't get to take a picture of the burger itself.

Century Egg porridge, there are lots of century egg, yum yum, and I think they cook with porridge with pig bone, it tasted like the one that my granny used to cook when she was still around.

Crispy spring rolls..

Yummilicious Siew Mai, there are prawns in it, its so yummy that one each is never enough..

Fried Vermicilli, not very enough and they gave us 2 plates of this, horrible, it's so dry that I would rather eat the fried bee hoon in singapore.

Steamed veg dumpling and the yummy yummy har gao... The veg dumpling has celery & mushrooms in it, its really yummy and crunchy, while the har gao has 3 prawns in it, the skin was really thin compare to the ones in singapore.

Char Siew Bao... the char siew was really yummy... I ate 2 of these.

Lousy Cheong Fun.. this cheong fun is horrible, the skin are very thick.

My dinner for the second day, was at SOGO, and all they have are japanese food.

Pork Cutlet Set A, changed my toast to carrot cake instead... Yummy...

Hoki Fish breakfast set A

Chicken ham Macaroni, its a but tasteless for my liking.

Char Siew with soya sauce chicken rice, the char siew was fantastic, but the chicken still has hair on it, damn disgusting..

Portugese Baked Rice, it tasted awful, the yellowish thingy is the sauce not cheese, and the rice beneath are so dry its like eating grains..

Juan's grilled Pork Chop, the pork chop was tender, but I was a bit turned off by the tomato sauce and the pineapples...

23rd June 2009

Didn't do much today, completed 3/4 of chapter 5 of Mars & Venus, met Joanne for lunch today, chat a bit here and there. Things are nice between me and Randy last night and this afternoon, but stupid me, have to spoilt it in the conversation just now, he told me that my chances are doubling up, but its still 0.02. Haiz... At the same time he asked me if I am willing to share him with the fake girl. I told him no, if I am willing to share him that I dun love him, I asked him if he is willing to share me with another guy, he said maybe, my heart drop, but I told him sharing means I will be slping & cuddling with the other guy, the other guy will be calling me lao po, dear or baby. His reply was "if that is what I want". After a while he say he will think about it. Humph.. the bomb happen when I told him I dun believe the girl is real, he ask me for the reason, I simply told him that I dun believe that it is so qiao that the fake girl and the sunny from girl generation that he like a lot have the same bday, same age, same name, same height/weight and same hobby. The answers he kept giving me was "?", I got kind of irritated so I didn't sound nice at all, in fact harsh, think he got pissed off. Apologise to him for sounding harsh and I really didn't mean it. I haven gotten any reply from him. I think I should have 忍 instead of blowing up, think I seriously screwed up this time.

22nd June 2009

Didn't do much this few days, but will be kinda of pack with the next few days, want time to pass faster, but dun wan it to pass too fast oso, dunno wat the hell i want. Afraid of the answer that I will get, but at the same time hoping that time pass faster and its the answer that I wanted. Completed chapter 4 of Mars & Venus today. Made a couple of notes on what i have understand:

1. Man are motivated and empowered when they feel needed, while woman are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished. At least for me, personally I think it is true, I feel better when I feel cherished. Maybe by making randy see that he is needed, he will feel motivated and empowered? A mistake I made is I hide some of my feelings from him, does he knows about it? What does it mean by needed? It's simply to trusted him to do his best in fulfilling my needs as well as appreciate his efforts for doing that.
   
   
2. I have to relax my complusive bu remembering that I am worth his love and I doesn't have to earn it.
   
   
3. Instead of blaming Randy, I should accept his imperfections, trust that he wants to give more and encourage him to give more by appreciating what he does give and continuing asking for his support.
   
   
4. I need to recognise my boundaries of what I should or can give without resenting Randy. Instead of expecting him to score even in giving, I need to keep it even by regulating how much I give.
   
   
5. I have to learned to ask for what i want instead of expecting him to know and give it to me.
   
   
6. To me rejection, judgement and abandonment are the most painful because deep inside my unconcious I feel unworthy or recieving, so i have to learn to recieve and set boundaries in giving.
   
   
7. I have to differentiate between needing and neediness. Needing means to reach out and ask for Randy's support in a trusting manner and assume he will do his best.
   
   
8. It is difficult for a man to listen to a woamn when she is unhappy or disappontment, cause he might feel like a failure, but personally I doubt this point is applicable to our case ba.

Accomplishments: I ran for 30 mins today, breathless, took about 30 mins to recover, wonder if it is because of the sore throat. Did 40 crunches today, my tummy hurts now... Humph...

20th June 2009

Didn't do much today, had breakfast with my parents, after that met up with Alvin and we went down to Tampines 1, there isn't much things there, but there are a few food store that I wanted to try, there is the 生煎包 & 小霸王, looks interesting but having long queue, alvin wanted to to join the queue after I said that I am interested but I told him no point la. We walked around and I tried on a few dresses from Dorothy, he said everything was nice, think he is bull shitting, one of the dress looks so ugly on me. I told him straight off during coffee that even though I know he is interested in me, I am not really interested in him the same way as he is to me on top of that I told him that my heart is still with Randy, so we could only be friends. He seems disappointed, but in the end he seems ok with it. Spilt up with Alvin at around 5, he went to meet his friends while I went down to Aunt Fer's place at Pasir Ris, celebrated Jeremy's and Audrey's birthday today, there are a lot of food, but we being 'children' are sitting at another table, so the choices aren't really a lot. Stayed till around 10.30pm before travelling home.

Miss Randy a lot, but dun wanna give him any pressure, which is y I am not sms-ing him at all, he approach me juz now on msn, talked about him not minding me talking to ray, gull or even wuqing, as well as asking me not to feel inferior. But come to think about it, isn't him mentioning about the fake girl and crapping stories about her making me even more inferior of myself? Actually starting to kind of believe that there might be such a girl, but realise the chances are very slim after calmming myself down and think about it. Will wait for the month to pass, hopefully I would get the answer that I wanted. Praying real hard, as well as trying to change myself for the better currently.

Accomplisment: Didn't run much this morning, only run for about 10 mins, then started to have problems breathing le, think might be because of the sore throat and the block nose. Did only 15 crunches, have to jia you tml.

19th June 2009

Just came back from Hong Kong last nite, both physically and mentally tire, miss Randy a lot, keep thinking what will it be like if i am there with him instead of my family. Got a feeling I will be happier. Wonder how are things for him, he was online on msn yesterday, but decided not to talk to him, didn't wanna appear pushy. Bought lots of pressies for him as well as his parents and sisters, my cousins keep asking why do I have to buy, since we are no longer together, but I simply told her that I still love him, and I feel nice buying him and his family things. Wondering if I should sms him about the pressie, wanted to meet him to pass it to him, but afraid that he doesn't want it. So think i will leave it till the 29th or the 30th ba, hopefully by then things will be fine and I can give the pressie to him and his parents myself... Hoping for the best to happen.

14th June 2009

Didn't do much today, had breakfast with my parents at Dawson Place, walked home after that. Went down to Great world with my sis and my cousins in the afternoon cause my sis wanted to get legging for our Hong Kong Trip while I need to change some money for my mum. Will be leaving tomorrow, wondering if I should sms Randy before I leave, this is something I will always do whenever I am going overseas after I am together with him. But doubt he will reply ba, even if he would, I guess he will sound cruel and cold. Wonder what should I get for him, should I get pressie for his family? I think i should, its a nice gesture. Will be packing my stuff later, humph, feeling a bit sian about it. Won't be blogging for some time ba. Have a really bad feeling about this trip, hopefully everything will be fine.

I just realize during dinner time that I am having a big ulcer under my tongue, its so painful, but I guess I will have to bare with it. Will think of Randy often on this trip just like the trips that I went before. Will miss him.

Accomplishment: I didn't run or do crunches today nor did I read the book, but I haven visit Randy's blog for 10 days le.

13th June 2009

Went shopping with my sis today, suppose to meet my cousin too, but she was having diahorrea, so she went home instead. I bought a crumpler bag for my Hong Kong trip which is on Monday. Wasn't really looking forward to the trip at all, have a bad feeling about it, but come to think about it, maybe I just 舍不得 the man that I loved, even though he might no longer have any feelings towards me, I still love him. A lot of people might think that I am stupid, I am dumb, why do I have to wait for a guy who no longer loves me, and who is so called having another girl? But to me, I believe the girl is fake, and all I think is he might come back, I am so called pinning all my hopes on him coming back at the end of a month...

Accomplishment: Didn't run or do crunches today, Didn't read the book either, but I didn't visit Randy's blog for 9 days le... Hope this will go on...

12th June 2009

Got scolded by Daddy for using the phone especially during my exams period and keep wanting to go out, He said that if I were to score badly for this sem I better dun find excuses. Damn it la, he doesn't know what I am going thru lo, Randy left me during my exam period, what does he expect me to feel? Everything is simply so sucky now, ya he doesn't know about the break up, he doesn't know what I am going thru, but I am already big enough le, does he have to scream at me for all these?

I am seriously thinking that taking up ACCA might be a huge mistake in my life. I am feeling very pressurized and I am really very tire of all that is going on. The main reason for taking ACCA is gone, I am not getting any support from my family all I am getting was the blames. Why am I failing my modules? Why m I not trying my best? Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh.... I feel like ending everything, just ending everything...

Finish chapter 3 of Mars & Venus, it's about man hiding in their caves while woman loves to talk about their problems. I totally agree to it, cause for myself, whenever I have problems, I simply need to talk about it, the more I talk the better I feel. The book actually quote playing game as an activity that guys would do when they are having problems, this is to keep their mind off things. Come to think about it, could Randy be facing a lot of problems of his own, which is why sometimes when I am over at his place, he simply keep playing his games and looking at his computer screen instead of spending time with me? Am I giving him too much pressure? Humph, Maybe I am ba. Suddenly I remember Aunt Grace ask could he be feeling inferior cause currently he doesn't have a job, his mum is kind of stressing him, while I am trying my best with ACCA so that we can have a better life in the future? I doubt so ba. If he is, then he shouldn't be, cause I know he is putting all his effort in his driving as well as working hard by attending insurance classes, so that there is a better future.

Alvin tried asking me out again today, I dun really feel comfortable about it, it feels like I m betraying or cheating on randy if I will date him. So I told Alvin I wasn't free, slack at home the whole day, sitting in front of my lappie and reading the book. Feeling a bit emo about leaving singapore, seems to be having a bad feeling, wanted to meet up with Randy before I leave, but I know its not possible, Haiz, really dun feel like going, feel that I will really miss him a lot. That is what usually happens when I go overseas previously. But this time is a little different, cause he is no longer my bf, Humph... But I know I will still miss him a lot no matter what...

Accomplishment: Run for 20 mins today, my leg hurts, the cramp is coming back again, did 30 crunches. Didn't read randy's blog for 8 days le. Humph, wondering what is happening in his life.

11th June 2009

Today is Randy's big day! He passed his driving!!! So Happy for him, but at the same time I feel sad, cause I know I can't celebrate for him, and I know that there is a huge chance that he would never ever drive me around. Humph. What to do?

Tonight I will be attending lizzie's dad wake, wonder how is she feeling? Is everything alright for her? Worried about her also... (Came back from the wake le, she was fine, hope she will be and she must really take care neh.)

Finished Reading for the third time of Mars & Venus Chapter 1 & 2, currently at Chapter 3. Found some really good points, and I can now understand why Randy was behaving the way he was behaving and what are some things that I could change my perception about.

1. People mistakenly assume that if our partners love us, they would behave and react the same way as we do, which is not true. Man and Woman behave in different ways, it could never be the same.
   
   
2. To offer a man unsolicited advice is to presume that he doesn't know what to do or that he can't do it on his own. (I often give lots of advice to Randy, didn't really know that things will appear this way to him. Humph.)
   
   
3. By offering unsolicited advice or 'tries' to help a man, the girl would appear to be critical and unloving.
   
   
4. A man being Mr Fix-It, would offer solutions when a woman approach them with a problem, however, to the woman they simply need to talk about things. This is the way a man behaves, and there is nothing we girls could change about it.
   
   
5. Unlike a Woman, A man would keep his problems to himself unless he requires help from others to find a solution, so we girls should not prompt about it, if he really need advice, he will come to us.

Accomplishments: I haven visit Randy's blog for a week!! Yeah... hope this goes on and on until he comes back to me, I run 2.4km this morning but I only manage to do 15 crunches. Humph, will Jia you and try to do more in the future...

10th June 2009

Today has been a long long long day, woke at around 10, daddy was at home, used the computer the whole day, try to keep myself occupied, but it's really hard, time still passes by seconds. Today, Randy and I did sms one another, but the topic isn't like what I wanted. He asked me what are the things that are making me unable to let go, I told him, everything, and I love him. He said that it is not a reason that he is willing to accept. I am really speechless. I dunno what to say anymore, but I continue the topic with him. Although its hurting, but at least he is talking to me. He said that all the I love him thingy is basically a habit and I don't really love him, my heart broke. If its a habit and I don't love him, would I want this relationship back? Would I be thinking of marrying him, having him as my life partner? Would I be working so hard now to get my ACCA Cert so that life for us in the future will be alot easier? Humph.

Met up with Connie and Mann for dinner at Vivo, we catch up a bit here and there, walk around vivo, I was really scare to see Randy there, and scare that he thinks that I am stalking him or whatever. Even though we catch up but I was really distracted, my mind is simply full of Randy, what is he doing? Is he well prepared for his driving test tomorrow? as well as praying in my heart that he will pass tomorrow and 1 month later he will come back to me.

Accomplishment: I didn't visit his blog for 6 day le. Really curious what is happening in his life, but I must endure.

9th June 2009

Today was a huge screwup, daddy cab's got into an accident, but heng daddy was alright, my paper is ridiculous, dun have an idea of what the hell I am doing. Randy send me a sorry, muacks after I say he was being mean, thought everything was going to be fine le, but in the end, he said it was a mistake, ask me to erase it. Once words are being said, how to erase? I just want everything to be fine, everything to be ok, I just want him back, why are things so damn difficult? Humph, called him today, was feeling lost, lots of thing happened, I asked him what does he wants? Does he only wants time off for 1 month or he really doesn't love me anymore, he asked me to move on since I feel so 幸苦, but I don't wanna move on, I just want him back. Tomorrow I have nothing on, lizzie's dad passed away, and daddy don't let me attend any funerals, haiz... Dunno wat can I do.. I just wanna meet and see Randy, wonder how is he? But he doesn't wanna see me at all. Why are things so screwed up in my life?

Life is seriously a bore now, aimless, don't know what to do since my papers are over, I am kind of sick and tire of studying, and now without the main reason behind me pushing myself doing ACCA, it's even worst. Why do I have to work so hard when he doesn't want me anymore? A degree is more than sufficient isn't it? On top of that Daddy will be home from tomorrow onwards, 24/7 he will be home, its so boring when he is home, can't do the things that I want, but things have already happen, what can I do? I seriously juz wan Randy back, even now I can't even laugh when I am watching a bloody commedy, I simple feel that its lame and nothing more. Life without him is like hell breaking loose.

Accomplishment: I call him today, kind of push him over the limit le, but I really need someone at that point of that, I was worried about dad, at the same time, sian that I will be stuck at home, and I was really pek chek over the erasing the muack thingy, but at least, I didn't visit his blog for 5 days? Humph, it seems so long. Wonder what is happening in his life now...

8th June 2009

Today paper was ok, hopefully I can pass, Was happy when Randy called to tell me Good luck after I sms him that I was having a paper today, he didn't remember but it was ok. I felt a lot better than usual, was trying all my best, but after my paper, I started to feel emo again, think its because I kept hoping that maybe after my paper he will appear at RJC to pick me up and send me home then everything will be fine as usual. Went home alone, was thinking a lot of the bus, whether if he still loves me and have feelings for me, haiz, Ray would have tell me go study la, think so much oso no use, might as well concentrate on ur studies. I know I know I know, but I can't help it. Really miss Randy, been nearly 2 weeks since I last saw him. Wonder how is he? Is he doing fine? Is he getting slimmer? Hmmm.. keep wondering, wondering & wondering. Randy is having his driving test this thursday, has been praying hard for him, hoping he can pass this time. Think he can, I must have confidence in him. On top of that, tomorrow is my last paper le, feeling a bit lost, what should I do after my papers while waiting for him to return. Humph. Think I have to get a list out pretty soon, but at least I have a few items in mind:

1. Finish reading the Mars, Venus book that Randy wanted me to complete 4 Years ago, think this time I must really sit myself down and read.
2. Look for a new game to keep myself occupied.
3. Running everyday if possible to build my confidence, and more crunches, need to slim my tummy, so big, haiz...
   

Currently these are the things that I have come up with, hope to have more added to the list. Looking forward to spending time out on Wednesday, will be going for the Da Vinci Exhibition at Science Centre. Wonder what is so interesting? Maybe i will know on Wednesday !!

Accomplishment: Although I sms him today but I didn't read his blog for 4 days le. Waiting for him to come back might be a long route, but I will wait for him no matter what...

7th June 2009

Had diahorrea the whole of last night, wonder where all the poo poo came from cause I haven really been eating much lately. Woke up at around 11, ate some breakfast with my parents then I went back to sleep, woke up only at around 3 plus. Tried studying, read a bit here and there and manage to clear Variances for tomorrow's paper, felt emo in the evening again, kept thinking about the things that had happen lately, whether the girl is real whether if Randy really doesn't want me anymore. But i have decided that although I can't help feeling emo most of the time, I could have more confident in myself, and since I have decided to wait for a month, and my heart tells me that the girl is fake and Randy will come back. That is what I should tell myself for the coming weeks. Had dinner with my parents, I manage to stuff everything into me, so full I feel like dying, and I feel like puking and in the end, I seriously puke everything out, but heng both of my parents are taking nap, so they didn't know.

Accomplishement: Didn't run today due to my leg cramp, but I did 30 crunches today, and I didn't contact Randy or read his blog for 3 days. So happy with myself.

6th June 2009

Didn't had much sleep last night, kept tossing and turning, wonder could it be the sugar rush from my Litchi Tea Freeze, the drink at TCC clarke quay were so sweet that all of us kept adding iced water to it. Was kinda stuck at home today, studied a fair bit, finished my F5 Part E as well as a few FRS for my F7 paper on tues. Felt emo at times, talked to Raymond and Cat on the phone here and there in the afternoon and evening. Thanks guys for being there for me!! Hmmm... talked to Aunt grace on the phone just now as well, she really understands me and know how I felt, glad to have her around me, cause there are a lot of things that I can easily say to her but not to my parents.

I realise something today too, even though daddy is a control freak, and he loves shouting and nagging at us, he really pamper and love me and my sis a lot, after hearing me say I am craving for soup while my sis is craving for fried batter prawns, he and momma rushed down to the supermarket to get prawns and the ingredients for cooking soup. Actually he told momma that he was really glad that I am eating again, my appetite is getting a lot smaller as compare to last time, but I finished a bowl of rice today, even though I didn't eat much, Daddy was still happy.


My favourite Radish soup, daddy forgot about the dried squid I think, but it still tasted yummy.

Accomplishments: Although today I didn't run, But I didn't contact Randy or read his blog for 2 days, so proud of myself. However I hope he knows that I always loved him and I am waiting for him to come back to me.

5th June 2009

My paper yesterday was most prob a goner, everything changed including the question style, so messy, stupid examiner, didn't have an idea of what I am writing, whole brain full of Mr Seah again. After I came home last night, daddy seems to realise that I am feeling unhappy, he kept asking what happened, how's the paper and so on? I told him, nothing la just unhappy, he asked about Randy and I as well, but I dunno wat to answer, so I merely keep quiet and went into my room and act like I was studying. I wanted to cry, but I don't wanna cry in front of my dad in fact not in front of my family. Time is passing so slowly nowadays, it's seems to be counting by secs and no longer by mins, have to find things to keep me occupied I guess.

Will be meeting my girls later to keep me occupy at least for today, but think I might feel emo even when I am with them, having a gf and a bf around is different neh. But hopefully today will pass fast enough, feel like going for a drink, but I know with my mood now, once I start I won't stop and I will get myself drunk, so no point la. Alvin tried asking me out again, but I am in no mood to go out with him, liz said that he isn't very decent, while that is what I think too, but he seems to know when is the time to approach me, whenever I am feeling down after a quarrel with randy or even now when I am waiting for Randy's answer, he is here asking me out. Wonder if he has a radar on his head.

In the end I went to liz's place instead of going out cause liz has some work to complete, while cat has her back ache, spend some time at liz's place and we decided to go out for dinner, asked slash & Raymond along too, shinvy came to meet us also. We went to Central for Mr Curry, we waited for nearly half an hour although we are the first on the waiting list, humph, the place was really crowded and warm, was feeling really depressed there, wonder is it because of the heat & crowds or the memories I have about Randy there. Left Mr curry after dinner and we went for our usual coffee session at TCC, waited at the Central branch, but there was no seats so we went over to the clarke quay one, we took the seats outside, although there was not air con, but it was still windy, so it was ok, slash was crapping all the way, although I am feeling moody in the beginning but at the end I was feeling ok, so I laughed as well. I could say that I have a great time today, Cat called a few times to make sure I am alright as well. Felt really glad to have such great friends by my side. Thanks Min, Cat & Liz for being there for me all the time, love you girls a lot. And ray too, although he has been always saying things that hurt, but I know he cares thats why he is doing this. And now its pictures time:

Full house (满家乐)'s carrot cake, we should have ordered it without the pork floss, it would have tasted better.

The Yuan Yang that I am craving for.

Liz and Jon's Lemon Barley, it didn't tasted like barley at all lo, simply lemon, eeeeeeeee, its sucks. Slash had lemon tea, didn't really took a picture of it.

Shinvy with Slash's hands, she looked happy rite... Muahaha doubt she knows about the hand behind her.

*Smirks* I love her a lot, thanks for being here for me babe...

Slash staring at Raymond who is kinda of running and shinvy is grabbing her head, wonder why, btw this is a candid shot. Muahaha..

The miniature ramen that was on the display glass, its so cute. I forgot who asked if the kids meal is so small... My reaction was diow...

Can you see how small the ramen was compared to the ice cream?

Guess who is the shadow man... If I am remember correctly, it was slash, hmmmmm....

Lizzie looking the menu. She said take ur backside de wor...

The miniature udon, this is so cute oso especially the one with the tempura prawns..

Jon hiding behind the sudoku coaster, Hahaha

Raymond with his mango juice that he said it's not very nice, but he finished it.

Ray and his up-sized prawn omelette curry rice, the rice serving is huge la, damn scary.

Mua with my first meal of the day? Cat and Min must be grumbling le, but I wasn't really hungry, and I had a small cookie at lizzie's place.

Shinvy with her prawn cutlet curry rice, I know you can't see the prawn cutlet, its hiding behind the curry la..

Lizzie with her crab omelette curry rice and our hamburg, didn't take a picture of jon and slash coz they were sitting so far away. Slash has a chk & mushroom omelette rice with extra bacon topping while Jon had crab omelette rice with beef steak..

Our yummy hamburg, the hamburg here is really nice, its very juicy.

My prawn omelette rice with black curry, today's soup got no lala, but got 2 small little slice of prawns, and now the curry has onions and peas in it. Eeeeeee, I see le oso dun feel like eating, I want the old curry back..

My mango Lassie, its not as yogurty as I had expected, not very nice, couldn't finish it, so Raymond finished it for me...