22nd June 2009

Didn't do much this few days, but will be kinda of pack with the next few days, want time to pass faster, but dun wan it to pass too fast oso, dunno wat the hell i want. Afraid of the answer that I will get, but at the same time hoping that time pass faster and its the answer that I wanted. Completed chapter 4 of Mars & Venus today. Made a couple of notes on what i have understand:

1. Man are motivated and empowered when they feel needed, while woman are motivated and empowered when they feel cherished. At least for me, personally I think it is true, I feel better when I feel cherished. Maybe by making randy see that he is needed, he will feel motivated and empowered? A mistake I made is I hide some of my feelings from him, does he knows about it? What does it mean by needed? It's simply to trusted him to do his best in fulfilling my needs as well as appreciate his efforts for doing that.
   
   
2. I have to relax my complusive bu remembering that I am worth his love and I doesn't have to earn it.
   
   
3. Instead of blaming Randy, I should accept his imperfections, trust that he wants to give more and encourage him to give more by appreciating what he does give and continuing asking for his support.
   
   
4. I need to recognise my boundaries of what I should or can give without resenting Randy. Instead of expecting him to score even in giving, I need to keep it even by regulating how much I give.
   
   
5. I have to learned to ask for what i want instead of expecting him to know and give it to me.
   
   
6. To me rejection, judgement and abandonment are the most painful because deep inside my unconcious I feel unworthy or recieving, so i have to learn to recieve and set boundaries in giving.
   
   
7. I have to differentiate between needing and neediness. Needing means to reach out and ask for Randy's support in a trusting manner and assume he will do his best.
   
   
8. It is difficult for a man to listen to a woamn when she is unhappy or disappontment, cause he might feel like a failure, but personally I doubt this point is applicable to our case ba.

Accomplishments: I ran for 30 mins today, breathless, took about 30 mins to recover, wonder if it is because of the sore throat. Did 40 crunches today, my tummy hurts now... Humph...